Well, I officially give up trying to buy Thai men’s clothes. Thai women’s clothes – pretty easy to find. I’ve got some lovely shorts and scarves for people back home. However, most Thai men will wear western clothes - jeans, t-shirts and button down shirts with American flags. I’m not travelling 11,000 miles to buy cheap jeans – that’s what TK Max is for. Most men only wear shorts for work and the only people here wearing loose and flowing parachute pants are foreigners trying to blend in. The traditional (I assume) be-toggled jackets and shirts are for women, again not perfect. So, I give up, even if I found the most perfect long shorts I’ve seen woven by the king himself, it’ll pale in comparison to the knowledge I bring back. I know I sound like a twatty student who “found themselves” in the bars of Bangkok, but then again I am a twatty soon-to-be student who got lost in the bars of Bangkok.
To rope this wandering point back on track, I’m spending a week in March/April doing a government-accredited course in massage (I get a certificate and everything!) and in May I have my five day cookery course by the Thai version of Jamie Oliver. Honestly, men’s clothes can go take a ride on a comet, bring on Pad Thai and acupressure. Still, there is one look here I’m dragging back. The triangle “Bandito” scarf look. I’ve brought five thus far, three thick for winter and two silk ones for summer. A.K.A the rest of my trip. They’re really handy when cycling, especially with the flies and dust in Nong Khai. They also cover up my unsightly... well... face. Plus, they keep your neck warm.
I’m also putting this down to more than 30 hours straight of Red Dead Redemption last June. I gain no notoriety when wearing them.
Last Monday marked my final week of teaching. Thai schools break up for their summer holiday in March, and come back in mid May, by which point I’ll be gone and setting fire to a kitchen somewhere. So from March until infinity, well, three months from now, I will be going to the orphanage every weekday to spread the healing power of hugs and allowing my camera to be abused. It’s an 8 o’clock wake up every day, which will be a shock from my spoiled existence of 10am starts for three days a week. A hard day of back breaking toil will... oh wait, we come home at about 1pm. I have time for an afternoon nap. Then maybe I’ll write to the Daily Mail about how much I hate immigrants and take my incontinence medicine.
As well as fashion trends that died out in 1910 (if Red Dead is to be believed) I’m searching for cheap snacks that won’t give me heart disease. My normal diet of budget brand Oreos is delicious, but more self destructive than writing a blog filled with self-deprecating humour. Bread is also good, but I can polish off half a loaf and lick the plate clean of crumbs before having the leftovers. Then buy more biscuits
Finally, very embarrassing moment whilst at school. I was asked about the English National Anthem, I said I’d think about it, but whilst I did, could they sing the Thai version? So a boy proudly sang in a beautiful voice the entire Anthem with a smile on his face. Then, I stumbled through the first verse before admitting I knew only “God save our gracious queen” – try it at home, can you sing all the verses? Thought not.
Although, I like to think my lack of national pride is something that defines me, along with a borderline pathological hatred of tobacco and tendency to trip over nothing. However, I have nothing against the National Anthem, it’s pretty good. And naught against the Queen, she’s a sterling lady. So, I’ve just downloaded the lyrics and plan to sing it in class on Thursday. As any true red-blooded Englishman should.
Wait... isn’t the name Toynbee actually French?
And finally :
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| *Giggles* |
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